7 January 2019
You picked me up at the airport that day, gave me a nice smelling purple lei, and we laughed when my sandal strap broke at the parking lot even before reaching the car.
We kissed. Passionately. Over and over again… We haven’t even driven for 3 miles. Maybe not into the freeway yet.
You took me to your favorite poke joint and then drove me to the beach to sit by the sun and have lunch.
You laughed when I took out my bamboo utensil set. First physical sign of ‘hippie’ most likely. I lent you my spoon while I used chopsticks and you joked about throwing plastics on the beach.
You took my photo as we were laying on the beach, the sun behind me, a little silhouette from my cap to shade part of my face.
I smiled. A big happy smile. Welcome to Hawaii. Welcome to my happy place. And welcome to your warmth.
I liked that photo and posted it right away. We took more photos… one of me kissing you, my nose flat on your cheek. Yes. Second strike, ‘no nose Meg’
You jumped into the not-so-cold water. I usually don’t go in the water unless I’m surfing… but I went and followed you soon after.
You took me in your arms. Hugged me tight. Whispered to my ear ‘my little Meg’ as I wrapped my legs around your waist. You carried me as you walked further and the water got deeper.
Time stopped for me at that very moment. Especially as you whispered to me the things you needed to tell me, kissing me in between, looking into my eyes every now and then.
As you spoke your truth, my heart expanded.
OK, maybe it shrunk a bit first 😉
Instead of asking ‘why the hell am I here?’
I answered with open ears. I listened. Listened to every word you spoke as you shared your story. When you finished, I kissed you. I kissed your tattoo. You embraced me tighter. Wrapped around your body, I felt held, when you were probably the one who needed it more.
I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with the authenticity coming from your heart.
I fell in love with your honesty, and your openness to share deeply.
I fell in love with your warmth.
13 days we’ve shared so much more than I could be thankful for:
– Driving on the freeway with your left leg up, my right leg on the window as I imitate you;
– Eating dinner twice, haha. Ramen run 10mins before closing because the chicken wings sucked;
– Drinking so many types of beer and finishing the 5th full bottle of beer (of my life) with you;
– You always teasing me as we drive 😉
– Swimming in the Westside for hours only to see one dolphin (tail!!!) haha
– Paddling out together even if it’s SUPER small, me cheering on you and you focusing not to fall, switching surfboards in between, you paddling in when I still wanted you to watch me surf 😉
– Finding places for dinner and you ending up being Hannoyed and Hangry…yeah, thanks for trying to search for cajun fries for me and ending up with tacos that ruined our tummies;
– Costco, Ross late night runs..me without slippers… me buying slippers…and me without slippers again;
– Checking out foodsale racks at Safeway and me running to aisle X for more Haribo(ssss) before your turn at the checkout counter;
– Lovely dinners like we are on a date, but we’re not, and competing on who will finish that yummy truffle fries with balsamic reduction (you got to finish all the burger sliders anyway);
– Tailgating by the beach, watching the sun set, one time – fireworks–you always with a beer and me with my kombucha, and some leftover food;
– Crispy bacon strips I refuse to microwave, but you get a lunchbox of good bagel sandwich with all the goodies in it;
– Gummie bears, skittles, kitkat and apfelschorle in a water jug for midnight snack;
– Sitting on the rocks of your favorite lookout, me hanging on to you so the strong wind does not blow me away; I am sometimes ‘lil Meg’
– Long walks to the beach with bare feet, you showing me that house with the perfect angle and view;
– Us in a full house van – bicycle, 2 surfboards, 2 coolers, beach chairs, umbrellas, towels, we name it, we got it (except our rash guards one time);
– Picnic dinner by the front lawn that one night, in the cold, but under the stars, so at least the ‘romantic’ ambience could save us from the shitty food we almost didn’t eat;
– You always showing me affection (and also embarrassment!) in public, but I love both anyway;
– Together as we brush our teeth, and couple of times you clean my sandy sticky feet (see, it rhymes!)
– Sleeping in, deciding last minute to go to the North Shore, packing my bike without tools, paddling out for a the quickest 15 minute surf of my life, you telling me I still had time to shower (when I already sold myself to the idea of hopping on the plane with sandy feet and clothes, salty skin and hair). You even documented that ‘last shower’ in slow-mo(w) I still can’t find the right sexy music to go with it. Haha! And…you calmly driving me to the airport, time well calculated, arriving in time for me to check in and have a few more kisses before I walked to the ‘VIP GOLD Lane.’ You watched and waved from the glass door until you could not see me anymore.
I could go on and on and on with this list.
Every minute, every second with you, I breathed in with gratitude and gifted with my presence.
Moments without you (physically) I sighed with peaceful relief, knowing you’re just around, and that I get to see you later in the day for sure.
That I get to hold you and kiss you goodnight and open my eyes with you in sight every morning.
Only 13 days, and it was time for me to leave as planned.
Love has been cultivated deeply, making distance and time more bearable.
I fell in love with the everyday things we did. In your presence, I fell in love with you. And even without us being physically together, I fall in love over and over again.
I choose you.
I choose us.
Despite the difficult circumstances we face. Despite the questions and chaos. Despite the uncertainty of tomorrow, of the months, of the years.
Because I know that today is an opportunity to love. And I would not let it pass by.
I love you.
And I will keep loving you, by choice, until that choice remains.
#mahaloD for everything you are