366 Days of Gratitude

Be grateful. Every.single.day.

How I fell in love in 13 days…

7 January 2019

My love,

Thank you.

You picked me up at the airport that day, gave me a nice smelling purple lei, and we laughed when my sandal strap broke at the parking lot even before reaching the car.

We kissed. Passionately. Over and over again… We haven’t even driven for 3 miles. Maybe not into the freeway yet.

You took me to your favorite poke joint and then drove me to the beach to sit by the sun and have lunch.

You laughed when I took out my bamboo utensil set. First physical sign of ‘hippie’ most likely. I lent you my spoon while I used chopsticks and you joked about throwing plastics on the beach.

You took my photo as we were laying on the beach, the sun behind me, a little silhouette from my cap to shade part of my face.

I smiled. A big happy smile. Welcome to Hawaii. Welcome to my happy place. And welcome to your warmth.

I liked that photo and posted it right away. We took more photos… one of me kissing you, my nose flat on your cheek. Yes. Second strike, ‘no nose Meg’

You jumped into the not-so-cold water. I usually don’t go in the water unless I’m surfing… but I went and followed you soon after.

You took me in your arms. Hugged me tight. Whispered to my ear ‘my little Meg’ as I wrapped my legs around your waist. You carried me as you walked further and the water got deeper.

Time stopped for me at that very moment. Especially as you whispered to me the things you needed to tell me, kissing me in between, looking into my eyes every now and then.

As you spoke your truth, my heart expanded.
OK, maybe it shrunk a bit first 😉

Instead of asking ‘why the hell am I here?’
I answered with open ears. I listened. Listened to every word you spoke as you shared your story. When you finished, I kissed you. I kissed your tattoo. You embraced me tighter. Wrapped around your body, I felt held, when you were probably the one who needed it more.

I fell in love with you.

I fell in love with the authenticity coming from your heart.

I fell in love with your honesty, and your openness to share deeply.

I fell in love with your warmth.

13 days we’ve shared so much more than I could be thankful for:
– Driving on the freeway with your left leg up, my right leg on the window as I imitate you;
– Eating dinner twice, haha. Ramen run 10mins before closing because the chicken wings sucked;
– Drinking so many types of beer and finishing the 5th full bottle of beer (of my life) with you;
– You always teasing me as we drive 😉
– Swimming in the Westside for hours only to see one dolphin (tail!!!) haha
– Paddling out together even if it’s SUPER small, me cheering on you and you focusing not to fall, switching surfboards in between, you paddling in when I still wanted you to watch me surf 😉
– Finding places for dinner and you ending up being Hannoyed and Hangry…yeah, thanks for trying to search for cajun fries for me and ending up with tacos that ruined our tummies;
– Costco, Ross late night runs..me without slippers… me buying slippers…and me without slippers again;
– Checking out foodsale racks at Safeway and me running to aisle X for more Haribo(ssss) before your turn at the checkout counter;
– Lovely dinners like we are on a date, but we’re not, and competing on who will finish that yummy truffle fries with balsamic reduction (you got to finish all the burger sliders anyway);
– Tailgating by the beach, watching the sun set, one time – fireworks–you always with a beer and me with my kombucha, and some leftover food;
– Crispy bacon strips I refuse to microwave, but you get a lunchbox of good bagel sandwich with all the goodies in it;
– Gummie bears, skittles, kitkat and apfelschorle in a water jug for midnight snack;
– Sitting on the rocks of your favorite lookout, me hanging on to you so the strong wind does not blow me away; I am sometimes ‘lil Meg’
– Long walks to the beach with bare feet, you showing me that house with the perfect angle and view;
– Us in a full house van – bicycle, 2 surfboards, 2 coolers, beach chairs, umbrellas, towels, we name it, we got it (except our rash guards one time);
– Picnic dinner by the front lawn that one night, in the cold, but under the stars, so at least the ‘romantic’ ambience could save us from the shitty food we almost didn’t eat;
– You always showing me affection (and also embarrassment!) in public, but I love both anyway;
– Together as we brush our teeth, and couple of times you clean my sandy sticky feet (see, it rhymes!)
– Sleeping in, deciding last minute to go to the North Shore, packing my bike without tools, paddling out for a the quickest 15 minute surf of my life, you telling me I still had time to shower (when I already sold myself to the idea of hopping on the plane with sandy feet and clothes, salty skin and hair). You even documented that ‘last shower’ in slow-mo(w) I still can’t find the right sexy music to go with it. Haha! And…you calmly driving me to the airport, time well calculated, arriving in time for me to check in and have a few more kisses before I walked to the ‘VIP GOLD Lane.’ You watched and waved from the glass door until you could not see me anymore.

I could go on and on and on with this list.

Every minute, every second with you, I breathed in with gratitude and gifted with my presence.

Moments without you (physically) I sighed with peaceful relief, knowing you’re just around, and that I get to see you later in the day for sure.

That I get to hold you and kiss you goodnight and open my eyes with you in sight every morning.

Only 13 days, and it was time for me to leave as planned.

Love has been cultivated deeply, making distance and time more bearable.

I fell in love with the everyday things we did. In your presence, I fell in love with you. And even without us being physically together, I fall in love over and over again.
By truth.
By choice.

I choose you.

I choose us.

Despite the difficult circumstances we face. Despite the questions and chaos. Despite the uncertainty of tomorrow, of the months, of the years.

Because I know that today is an opportunity to love. And I would not let it pass by.

I love you.

And I will keep loving you, by choice, until that choice remains.

#mahaloD for everything you are

‘Going with the Flow’

27 October 2018


It’s been awhile!

It’s funny how random moments of strange and intense emotions – and realisations and discoveries thereafter – usually prompt me to visit my own website and write. A little poke on my face (this time, it was the October 2018 fullmoon in Taurus) made me jump up to my feet and start thinking about choices and directions from out of nowhere.

I’d like to share how grateful I am to continue meeting people who trigger blissful energy, discomfort, and at the same time so much learning for myself. Some people make me. Some people break me, only to let me discover how to make myself whole again.

Living in a small island where small-talk drama is inevitable, emotional and intellectual maturity low and unexplored, and attention is given to the wrong, or rather, unimportant things – it is refreshing to meet people with a sense of zest in life. Some of them are like me – ‘YOLO’ (You Only Live Once) minds and hearts. Others are those who would like to be like me – or are inspired by my way of living, which in turn, inspires me to share even more. Then even others are those who have found themselves over and over again, embracing the sweetness of life, making the most of situations and circumstances. I met people I could easily have deep conversations with – whether under the moon and stars at night, next to the ocean, or in a ‘tapsihan’ while waiting for food to arrive. These conversations about living fully, love, sustaining lifestyles, CO2 emmissions, going zero-waste, chasing dreams and imagining dreamhouses, insert a bit of marriage and child-rearing and human ego – have made me appreciate the value of having real and authentic people in my life. Those people who could speak their minds out, and can stretch out to be less judgmental as possible.

The last three months have reminded me about my ‘going with the flow’ kind of life. Situations, moments, events and open conversations have helped me understand other people’s ways of ‘going with the flow.’ That other people’s ‘chill’ does not need to be ‘my chill,’ and that it is ok to be put in this uncomfortable position where you ask yourself ‘is this really where I am supposed to be?’ THIS question, was/is the million dollar question of my last 3 or so months. And eventually I came to the point when I stopped asking that question and started dancing along with it.

I put myself in a vulnerable spot – engaging with people in situations with very different ways of looking at things.

I put myself in a vulnerable spot – opening up too much to people who might be caught offguard with it.

I put myself in a vulnerable spot – reaching out and putting my best foot forward, not waiting to be acknowledged but to be listened to.

I put myself in a vulnerable spot – to keep giving and giving, not expecting much in return, always appreciative of some form of reciprocity.

That vulnerable spot – is where I hope to grow. Right now, my ‘going with the flow’ seems to be the easiest, but at the same time, most difficult thing to do for me. This is where I hope to find more gratitude for bringing certain people in my life, people who have made me do things I never thought I would ever do, experience moments I never thought were possible, have more empathy and less judgements.

Today, as I slowly see the positive results of staying in Manila (and not flying to Siargao) to heal my wounds (some physical, some not), I have decided to also pack my bags for the North Shore.

To travel to Hawaii in three days seems to be my saving grace – but I also know don’t want to wait three days to be at peace with myself. So I will embrace today as a new day, a new beginning, a new peace, and a new way of going with the flow – always grounded in my truth, and in being real with and to myself.

Don’t get me wrong, at this very moment, I have more questions than answers. But it does not matter. Life is about the journey within those answers and not the answers themselves.

I guess I’ll just have more dancing to do.

Let’s dance (with the flow)?🤙🏼

#Grateful for: human connections

How gratitude made me live the best year of my life (so far!)


January 1, 2018 11:30am Hawaii time In the skies, 30,000 ft above Oahu 2017. It could not have been any better.

As I take this 366th day in, and renew the cycle of gratitude, I’d like to share with you all how I was able to live the best year of my life so far.

It’s not ‘best’ because it was all positive, nor was it a year of all successes, unlocked achievements, nor completed life goals. It was not ‘best’ because I traveled decently, got a job promotion, nor about all progress in my yoga, surfing, running, etc. It is best because it is. It just is, and I lived it as beautiful as I could.

I lived 2017 as real and authentic as possible, as each day rolled out and gave me the chance to make it worthwhile. Surely it was not all good, positive and comfortable.

Many days I thought too much about my life: about where I am and about where I want to be, how I want to be remembered, etc etc – picking my brain too much on things that I wanted to give a damn about.

Some days I struggled with questions and big decisions: Is this really the right job? Am I having a work-life balance? Am I having a meaningful contribution to society without compensating my wellbeing, my sanity? Am I thinking about myself as I endeavor to more risky challenges at work and in life in general? Should I renew my contract for another year? I don’t think I can really live in the city fulltime…..

Other days I laid in bed sick, either nursing a cold, sore throat, dysmenorrhea, over fatigue, or needing to recuperate from too much traveling, too much running, or too much sun (yes! Haha)

There were days I couldn’t bring myself to focus on what I had to do, and worse, I got distracted by social media – scrolling IG or FB up and down, watching live feeds or videos, only to realise I’ve been sitting there for 2 hours not moving my ass, my head (or brain!) starts to hurt and my eyes twitch from the brightness of the LCD screen that I blink (or even close my eyes) once or twice, only to return back to scrolling again for another 30 minutes until I realise (again!) it is time to put down the phone because, well, it’s already freakin 3am!!! (Now tell me, does this sound familiar to you, too?)

On very rare days I was lazy, unproductive, and zoned-out (like a zombie).

Oh the year was far from perfect.

BUT every single day, I lived by being me. Every single day, I lived with my truth. Every single day, I lived with acceptance – acceptance that it will not be perfect and that it’s ok.

AND every single day, I lived with a grateful heart – thankful for another chance ‘to be.’

Even if I did not have my physical journal most times, it has become a habit for me to embrace a gratitude practice every morning and every night.

To be more concrete, and to give you realistic examples of what I mean, living gratefully has helped me in the following aspects:

– by being thankful in the mornings, I suspend my thoughts of ‘what ifs,’ may it be from the day before (maybe I should have asked our board of trustees to give me more time to work from home?) and accept that that was what was meant to be and I am happy to work with it;

– by writing on my daily gratitude journal, I became more conscious about being present at the moment – to catch myself when I dwell too much in the past or worry too much about the future;

– those times I felt uneasy, uncomfortable and like sh*t – I would sit down, relax, close my eyes, think of where I am and tell myself to completely trust the moment and trust the process, to completely surrender – Ishvara Pranidhana <surrender to God>

– those moments I get hit by a wave of strong emotions (usually sadness, deep hurt, heart-clenching pain, bottled-up past emotions, regret), I tell myself ‘Meg, feel what you need to feel, and just let it be, but don’t let it be you because it is NOT you’ (aaah, svadhyaya <self-study> – and all the things I learned from yoga!)

– whenever other people wrong me (somebody cuts in line in front of me; a group of guys whistle and mumble as I pass by the street after a run or after yoga (wearing shorts, usually) I tell myself to be grateful that I treat others well, and sometimes challenge myself to call out a mistake politely (Ate, may pila po, nakapila po kami lahat ng maayos – Sister, there’s a line here, and we are all following in line).

– those times I got into accidents: my long skirt once got jumbled in the motorcycle rear wheel that I ended up with fabric bruises on my thighs and half-naked for 5 minutes before reaching home, or my many many surf accidents (reef cuts, sea urchin stings, a bloody, swollen open wound on my right foot because a log on the beach rolled over my foot) – I tell myself ‘Thank you, Lord, I am still breathing, my heart is still pumping and I am not paralyzed so it’s ok’ ….. translation in Filipino – ‘sige lang, malayo sa bituka!’ Hahaha

– whenever I do my yoga, my intentions are always about inspiration and appreciation. I find that starting my yoga with a sense of welcome for my life; a welcome to the sun that greets my day, usually transforms how I face that day.

There are many more examples. What I am trying to share is that it is in our hands to make our happy days become reality. No one else’s.

If anything, I lived 2017 not thinking about ‘what ifs.’ Every single day, I lived with presence, some days more than others. I have openly accepted that how my life unfolds is how it is meant to unfold. And that while life will not be (and never be) perfect, I can always make the most of it.

It comes with practice. The more I do it, the more it becomes a habit.

I invite you all to make every single day of 2018 count. It will not always be perfect days, but we can make each day beautiful in our own way!

Om Shanti Om ❤

Love. The way I am.


21 June 2017
Written frim the skies: Nadi to Melbourne flight. 1830pm Fiji time

Mixed feelings.
I just left Fiji, my dream country for 2017 (it was ‘the dream country’ for 2015 and 2016, too, but it was too far from where I was then).

In Fiji, I did 3 main things – surf, relax, and be alone (whenever I could) without letting people around 
me feel as if I didn’t want to be with them. Good thing is that I traveled alone, so I get the leverage. Two nights out of 3, I cried myself to sleep, listening to my favorite yoga piano playlist (the one I play for savasana during my yoga classes, or during week reflection sessions in my training courses).


Those nights I wept, I felt so much love and abandonment at the same time. I felt so happy and so sad at the same time. I felt so strong and so weak at the same time. I felt so motivated to keep on, yet also felt like giving up…at the same f&);ng time!

I knew my heart was longing for another phase of healing, another moment to question my ‘going with the flow,’ to flash me back to my past decisions and how they are still (I guess) pulling me back every now and then. It picked this moment with no coincidence. June had always been bittersweet since 2015.

BITTER last year, when I cut my long hair too short before five *gaumarjos (toasts) of chacha (Gerogian vodka) and closed all possible communication lines to my last relationship – Whatsapp, Facebook, Skype, deleted numbers, photos, videos, messages, and printscreen quotes (of love, loss, encouragement and moving on). I waved my last goodbye, smiling. I blew my last kiss through the manually rolled-down car window as we drove away from the place I called and made MY home.

SWEET two years ago, when I moved my return flight Tbilisi-Barcelona to stay longer in Georgia, took a 9hr/overnight Soviet-vibe train for the first time, enjoyed a spontaneous roadtrip to the mountain, learned Backgammon over tea and next to a fireplace, hiked the majestic Causcasus mountains in my grey Nike trainers (that slipped and ended up dark…. and with no hiking experience), and loved every moment of uncertainty and suprise that came.


My heart wanted me to revisit my acceptance of things, to ask myself how deeply I had forgiven myself and others. My heart needed me to take a moment before I rowed forward, moved further on, and it picked Fiji in such a random style, knowing that I would embrace anything that happened here.

It also picked surfing as a lovely metaphor of my outlook on things. At Namotu Lefts and Restaurants (surf spots), I’d excitedly jump off the boat to surf a shortboard smaller than my size and catch huuuge (4-5ft to overhead) waves that hide the horizon behind me as I paddled with all my might, well positioned to take off, my head focused on making those nice steep drops…..only to hold back, stop for a split second, scared, as I feel the wave lift me up, and curl beautifully past me…but not taking me with it. My surf in those 2 days in the beautiful clear-blue reefbreaks of Fiji humbled me. It humbled me of my ‘yeah, sure, let’s do this!’ attitude and how not all things can be done just like that. It humbled me of the fact that I may have the confidence in the outset, but it was not full, because I was not well-equipped to do it just yet. What was I thinking jumping on a shortboard without being on it for almost 4 years?


Since 2014, I’ve been back to surfing longboards after a black-eyed surf accident in winter surf Barcelona…in front of where I was living at that time. I got tangled in big fat plastic rope dividing Puka surf spot in a line with a yellow buoy, in a heavy whirlpool that smashed me and my 7′ Roxy shortboard. The impact was so strong I ended up washing machine-ing with this rope stripping through my wetsuit and scratching a little piece of skin on my left knee. I got out alive, with my body screaming (yes, the rope got through my wetsuit, I don’t know how it happened). As soon as I unzipped my back, I touched red streaks. On my lower lip as well. And a black-eye. Well, more like a purplish-bluish-pinkish bruise on my lower right eye.

imageI remember exactly how I got out in the water in the first place. I was on ‘sick leave’ from work the day before, because I was ‘not feeling well.’ I decided to stay home that day to recuperate as I was still feeling shit. I was becoming depressed at how things were going on at work, and I just needed a break. It was really over-fatigue and stress. Then while sipping green tea in bed, I look out my window and see the enticing waves that get to visit Barceloneta beach only in the winter. I jumped out of bed, in my head, ‘f€&¶ it! I’ll surf all these negative energies out!!!!’ And there I was paddling out, taking positively over-control of my situation. Doing my ‘yeah sure, let’s do this!’ even when I was definitely not in the minimum condition to be playing out there. It ended up in regular visits to dermatologists and fisiotherapy. While I don’t admit to myself that I have trauma, I have decided to slowly but surely relearn surf from scratch again. To practice and equip myself with the right attitude and humility. To practice and practice and practice.

Back to Fiji. My heart made sure I got the message clearly by giving me this one last chance to surf today, 1.5 hours that ended up in two small cuts that didn’t really hurt so much, but I can feel the pain every now and then. It is reminding me that I need to be true to myself – to how I am meant to deal with my healing ‘the way I am’ and not ‘the way I think I should.’ It is telling me that in my positive, happy vibe, there’s a little inch of me that is still bundled up and needs some attention, too. It is telling me that in the disguise of my ‘letting things be,’ something is still pulling me back. It is telling me that in my 300+ days of breathing meditation and heart-opening yoga, there is something that I still need to truly embrace and accept.
That I need to find that ‘something.’
And set it free.

It’s time for me to be friends with my past.
Not bury it behind me, only to dig back
Every once in awhile.

‘Practice and experience love as you are,’ says my heart.
To practice love, the way I know it to be, the way I am.
Not by closed (and against my will) communication.
Not by holding myself back.
Not by silence.

No expectations.
Only openness.

I freely lift you up.
Be free.

Doing What You Love=Living



Are you the one who says ‘I love my job!’ or are you the one who gets up in the morning with a heavy heart, or heavy feeling, knowing its ‘(not!!!) another day of work’?

While not all of us are lucky enough to be working (and getting paid for) doing what we love to do, there’s one thing that makes a difference – our attitude towards what we do.

I know many people who love their jobs, unfortunately, I also know many who do not – who’d rather be somewhere else doing something else, or who are bugged down by bureaucracy, heirarchy or administrative limitations to their full potential as a professional. I’m not here to tell you to quit your job (I know it’s not as easy as it looks – I’ve been there). I am here to share with you how CHANGING MY ATTITUDE (and reaction) towards my situation helped me reduce my stress, gave me freedom in my heart,  made me live a little happier, and eventually helped me in making such a big decision to let go of financial stability in exchange for my physical, emotional and mental stability (and sanity!) One thing is to feel frustrated, stressed and bad with your job every once in awhile (it’s not always nice and fun and meaningful) , it’s another thing to be in a constant struggle to force and convince yourself that you are BETTER OFF with a job you’re cynical about than jump out into the unknown. In short, it´s another thing to lie to yourself that you are actually living your life well. 

2 years into my job in a non-profit private foundation (I stayed for 5 years), I realised I was not finding meaning anymore in the work I was doing. I was dragging myself on a bicycle to go to work, where I enjoyed the 10 minute ride to the office more than I enjoyed the 8, 9 or 10 hours of the actual work itself. Sometimes, I’d get off-balanced from my bike because I was distracted by my thoughts (‘should I leave?’ ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’ ‘it’s time for change’). I was not fully focused on my goals and stopped enjoying the project(s) I was writing (I really enjoyed them when I started in the job). I stayed 3 more years, even when I knew it was time to go. I knew it was affecting the dynamics of my (then) relationship, and I knew it was unhealthy for me to stay. I knew. I really did. BUT it was a huge leap. It was an uncomfortable situation to even think about. It meant starting all over again (I was scared of the uncertainty), not knowing where to go and how to do freelancing on my own (this was my excuse!) I thought to myself ‘maybe I can still change things from the inside’ (another BIG excuse I gave myself!) Then I realised it was not because I was not ready to go. It was because I was in such a  (kinda) comfortable place (I have a job that matches with my studies, my passion, and many people would want to be in my place). Too comfortable that moving away from it would give me the biggest and most uncomfortable WHY?

‘Meg, but your job is so cool, you travel around the world and you get to meet lots of interesting peacebuilders! Why leave?’ ‘You are lucky you have a job, and in Barcelona…in Spain where there’s a huge unemployment.’

That’s just one aspect of my job that people saw. The day to day is much different. Anyway, I chose to stick to the comfort of having a job that I was not happy doing, even if I was not growing anymore. Yes, our comfort zone is a nice place to be in, but we don’t learn anything anymore. I made too many excuses to stay (good partners, didn’t want to leave a project halfway through, interesting new initiatives, I have my autonomy as director, it’s Barcelona, etc) Too many excuses to drown me, yet at the same time keep me afloat all those years (I have to be sane).

In 2013, I decided that since I was not ‘ready’ to leave (whatever the word ‘ready’ meant), I needed to change my perspective and attitude towards my job. I asked to come to work at 11am  most days (I stay until 9 or 10 pm anyway!) I asked to work from home on Fridays or Mondays (it did not quite last awhile). I cut down on my project-proposal writing and focused my time on doing quality work with the good (and sustainable) project partnerships I had. I decided to co-author a manual with a great team. I spent more quality time with my volunteers and colleagues (who were wonderful people!) I decided not to ‘take home’ work. I focused to get more training courses approved (so I get to facilitate them). I made friends with the building cleaning ladies and would sometimes join them for a chitchat while they sit and have their snack. I enrolled in the gym next to my house and made commitments with people to join them for swimming sprints, kickboxing classes, after-yoga yerba mate sessions on the beach (that was my way to get my butt out of my chair and throw myself out of the office when it´s time to go). I did my best to enjoy my weekends fully (which meant not opening my laptop, nor talking about work). I made some guidelines for myself and my (then) partner to only engage in work related conversations during weekdays AND office hours (because we worked together!) I started enjoying more movies and spending less time in typing in my laptop whenever I can. I started yoga again, swam 3 times a week, and then went back to capoeira (again to give me reasons to leave the office!)

I realized, what´s the use of my financial stability when I am not living my life fully? What is my financial stability for anyway? To live well and comfortably in the future? At the expense of what? The present. It started to not make sense.  

Then in 2014, I said ‘basta ya!’ I decided to leave for good. I decided I didn’t want to continue anymore, and I had to negotiate it with my colleagues. Slowly, I felt being liberated; I felt the chains around my whole body slowly loosening up. It took me a full year after that to really clean up and free myself from the organisation (pending reports, back-payments I had yet to receive and whatever) and the little strings attached to me.

My first year as a freelance trainer was challenging. I was testing the hot waters, and I was not very good at selling (marketing) myself, partly because I was not comfortable with talking about myself (and preferred if people saw how I actually worked; or that I get recommended),  partly because I wanted to ‘take a break’ from the NGO world for awhile and enjoy life. I *wanted* to recuperate those times I missed living life while being stuck in a stressful job I chose so myself. But I also knew I could never get that time back. I learned to stop looking back at ‘what ifs’ and start enjoying what I had at each moment (with a paying or voluntary project or not, it did not really matter). Right after leaving my job, I spent the first 6 months traveling and doing what I love – I went on a cross-country roadtrip, enjoyed babysitting my godson,  visited friends and family, went back to re-learning my Mandarin,  did lots of yoga, lived near the beach, joined surfing meet-ups from Redondo Beach, to Newport, to Hermosa and Venice beach, and challenged myself into a liquid cleanse for nearly a month! I was in the ‘I can do whatever I want’ mode and it felt great. I took my time to recover and to prepare myself for the ‘freelance world’ that I knew I would have to hustle for. I promised myself I will not work on jobs, organisations, companies that I don’t fully share principles and values with. The 6 months of ‘recuperation’ became a year, then two years, and I am still there now. I’m still here. But I don’t call it ‘recuperation time’ anymore. I call it living life. Living life to the fullest. Living life with no regrets. (And I don’t think I’d want to be anywhere else).

So yes, I don’t have a million in my bank account (something I could have saved for if I wanted to). I don’t have a wallet (I have a small pouch with mostly travel, business, health insurance and a credit card and not a lot of cash!) ( I have a plastic pouch with like 10 different currencies I don’t actually know the value anymore) And I think I am actually towards the fine thread of my savings BUT I am HAPPY!!! 

I am excited whenever I start firing up in my laptop because I am learning a lot from this research consultancy I am doing here in the Caribbean (which ends in a month’s time).  And while it lasts, I get to interview wonderful social workers, government staff and peacebuilders, learn their stories and listen to their challenges about crime and violence in their countries. I get to put their insights together into a report I am writing- I´m like a messenger (how cool is that?) I get to sing to funky 80’s and highschool songs as I write this report. And I get to take short breaks to read, blend a smoothie, walk in the rain, and keep motivating myself by writing these blogs.

I am surrounded by wonderful, caring, cool and inspiring people that I know I attract with my positive energy.  I learned to let go of negative energy (and people!) in my life and keep some space for new ones to come in (I just met wonderful new friends in Trinidad and Tobago, Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Cuba!) I live in a city I feel at home in and do not want to get away/escape from. I eat healthy. I get to joke and share my day/month with my family in our group chat (we are usually all over the place)! I get to enjoy some luxuries like a sailing adventure, a massage or good sushi, and I get to live my life the way I want to – full of beaches and white sand, catching too much sunshine, of music and dancing, of green tea (some Butterfinger and Doritos cheese, too). I get to do breathing exercises every morning, write in my journal, practice yoga, capoeira, go surfing, lay on the sand, and still make a difference in this world (mostly surrounded by nice flipcharts, or Human Development Reports and people who want to learn about conflict transformation). I am learning to let things be, to accept where I am today, and to just ‘go with the waves.’

I wake up happy and I go to bed happy. I am not afraid (and embarrassed) to sing anymore.

I am doing what I love. Back to being who I genuinely am.

It´s not about having the perfect or best job (does not really exist without our input). It´s how we see it and live the working experience day in and day out. I changed my attitude towards what was uncomfortable in my job, and it helped me to change my life completely to the beautiful way I am living right at this moment. You can, too.

It’s not perfect, but it´s a beautiful life. Everyday is fresh. And it works for me.

My heart is full……now that’s something no money, nor financial stability, nor a 5-digit high paying, comfortable (but meaningless) job can buy. Neither can it assure me of tomorrow.

*Please share to people who might need some kind of gentle push =) 

Let Things Fall Apart


Today I finished the book that (I let) guide me through my process of healing and empowerment. Every single day since August 6th, I would read a couple of pages of this book (sometimes a whole short chapter). Every day, wisdom and compassion from the pages of this book would assure me that what I was going through was ok, that I need to face it, that I need no shortcuts. Whatever my emotions are at that moment (while reading) I’d acknowledge as what is, and I have learned to let it be. Just let it be.

And today I feel free. As I finished the last paragraph of the book, I felt sad but at the same time some freedom in my heart. The teachings and techniques have guided me (some more than others) and so it felt a bit awkward to put the book down and say goodbye.

My journey to accepting what is, has been difficult and challenging, especially because I was in denial of the extreme pain that one situation (and person?) can inflict on a positive and happy woman in me. I held on tightly to the idea of ‘I will fight with my all’ and forgot to realise that ‘fighting’ comes in different forms, and how I was letting it hold me back from living the present (even when I have convinced myself that THAT was what living the present meant to me).

The book ends with ‘the path is the goal’ that if there’s any possibility for enlightenment, it is RIGHT NOW.  That this path exists moment by moment and drops away behind me. That the source of wisdom and change is whatever that is happening right at this moment, at this very instant.  Sadness, anger, hurt, and at the same time freedom and laughter fills inside me, and that how I relate to it at this very instant determines and creates the future.

I learned again to befriend the crazy emotions in my heart, to be compassionate to myself and my struggle, to smile back at the tight fist stuck in my heart, and to tell myself to soften up or shout at the top of my lungs-whatever feels right at this very moment. To let it be. Freely. Genuinely.

So here’s a share of my liberty. Of my oppeness and acceptance to sit still in the midst of chaos, to be present right now, and to take that leap into the unknown. I know it’s all part of life. So be it.

And yes. I feel authentic enough (to write) today, hence I am back in this blog =)

Today, I am grateful for: all the support from friends, family, even acquaintances, in this journey.


A heart of gratitude makes a beautiful and happy life.

12033057_10156306927655713_1845226193648438575_nHello everyone! My name is Meg, and this is a personal project I have been working on for quite awhile now. This is a fruit of my own practice of 366 days of gratitude, conversations with people, constant reflection, and mindfulness and inner peace practice that gives meaning to every single day I get to live.

I cannot say “Thank You” enough for everything I had and have been given. But I can share them, and make them an instrument to inspire others around me to be grateful.

I have become happier in life, and you can be, too! – M